Many young children have difficulty concentrating, staying focused, following directions, and exercising self-control.
These poor self-regulation skills affect their behavior and academic performance well beyond childhood. Children with poor self-control have difficulty understanding and remembering information, making sense of what they learn, and meeting expectations.
Poor self-regulation skills are also often associated with problem behaviors, such as endless and repeated temper tantrums and aggressive behavior.
We now know that good self-regulation skills in childhood are associated with better financial, health, and social outcomes later in life. Self-regulated children are also more likely to experience greater life satisfaction as adults.
But there is good news for parents struggling with their children’s self-regulation skills – science says it is possible and easy to improve these skills.
In one study, a group of researchers found that teaching preschoolers to manage their attention and impulses had a positive long-term effect on their educational outcomes.
The study involved 500 children between the ages of six and seven. These children were given brief self-regulation exercises during the school year.
Using playful strategies, they were asked to imagine the positive effects of achieving a goal, think of some of the obstacles they might face in their attempts to achieve the goal, and identify specific behaviors to overcome those obstacles.
The researchers found that the children who had received training had better impulse control and self-regulation, made great strides in academic skills such as reading, and were more successful at identifying careless mistakes. These children were also more likely to take responsibility for their own learning.
This study is just the latest to find a link between incorporating self-regulation practices in childhood and children’s outcomes.
Studies by Megan McClelland and her colleagues have shown that teaching self-regulation skills in childhood has a huge impact on children’s academic, social, and behavioral outcomes.
The good news is that there are many simple and short self-regulation exercises you can do at home to improve your child’s impulse control. Here are five easy ways to get started.
Five fun strategies to help improve your child’s self-regulation skills
1 | Play Simon Says
Simon says is a game that all children love, and it is also one of the easiest ways to improve your child’s self-regulation skills. This game will help your child practice focusing and following directions.
2 | Play Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders
In Megan McClelland’s study mentioned above, researchers found that turning the famous “Head-Shoulders-Knees-Toes” song into the “Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders” game was very effective in helping children improve their self-regulation skills.
In this revised version, children are asked to do the opposite of what they are told (e.g., touch their toes when asked to touch their head) to help them practice listening and following instructions.
3 | Help your child train his or her mind to focus
Games and activities such as puzzles, mazes, sudoku, find the missing number/object, pattern games, etc. have been shown to help children improve their concentration.
Providing opportunities for your child to focus on a single activity is an easy way to help them develop self-regulation skills.
Executive function activities are easy and fun ways for your child to practice focus. Here are activities that your 4 to 6 year old will love, and executive function products for your 7 to 9 year old.
A timer is a great tool to help them keep track of how long they can stay focused, and you can gradually increase the time set as they get better at focusing and concentrating.
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4 | Make your child a more active participant
The results of the recent study cited above showed that children’s self-regulation skills improve when they are given opportunities to think about their goals, the obstacles they might face, and how to get around those obstacles.
Encouraging your child to participate more actively in activities that affect them can help strengthen their self-regulation skills.
Letting them make decisions within a framework (e.g. they can do their homework whenever they want, but only before 6 p.m.) or even asking them to make a list of the activities they would like to do on a given day is an easy way to increase their interest, concentration and reflective practice.
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5 | Give clear instructions
Many children have not yet developed the ability to follow multiple instructions. This means that they may have difficulty processing information, especially if they are given multiple instructions at the same time.
By breaking down instructions and limiting the instructions you give your child, you make it easier for them to process information and follow through.
Instructions also provide opportunities for reflective practice. For example, you can ask your child simple questions such as
- What will you do first?
- And then?
- What will you do when you’re done?
Asking them to repeat what they understand about the instructions is also an easy way to help them better understand what is expected of them.
Remember, as is often the case with children’s behavior, the more you focus on your child’s positive behavior, the more likely they are to repeat it.
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